I Need to Get This Off My Chest


Since I started blogging back in 2012, I’ve only written one non-farm-related post. That was right after my best friend, Maggie, died suddenly. She and I had made it a habit, sometimes verging on a game of literary Tag, to include one another in our blogs, so it seemed only proper to write about her one last time.

Now, I’m compelled to venture away from farming once again.

Sometimes stuff happens in life and we are utterly out of control. My recent breast cancer diagnosis has had this effect on my life, making everything a little more difficult in the immediate and promising to make everything A LOT more difficult for a bit in the very near future.

I am hoping to get the surgical portion of this program over with in the next couple of weeks, moving on to the reconstruction portion right after that, and then easing into the I-used-to-have-cancer-but-I chopped-off-the-offending-appendages-and-now-things-are-pretty-much-okay portion of the process with grace, style, and possibly a sassy new hairdo.

As someone who had two home births to avoid even the suggestion of a hospital or doctor invading my personal space, I am heading into foreign territory, to be sure. I am, however, surrounded by a community that has proven to be so overwhelmingly supportive and loving that I feel about as lifted up as any human has a right to feel.

A CaringBridge page has been started and maintained by my excellent and funny brother and a YouCaring page has been started and maintained by my lovin’ man. The mind-bending generosity of family, friends, and acquaintances has gone a crazy-long way toward helping us handle the financial burden that such illnesses bring (political rhetorical side question: How broken is our healthcare system when we are forced to resort to crowd-funding for life-saving surgery?). 

Gratitude. Gratitude. Gratitude.

All of this is by way of explanation as to why there will likely be a dearth of farming blog posts from me this summer. It’s a terrible time to abandon the farm, literally and literarily, but sometimes these things can’t be avoided.

I’ll catch up with y’all once this whole ordeal is over and I’m back to my old self (with the notable addition of a gravity-defying replacement rack), but now I just need to get this off my chest.


About applewoodfarm

Restaurateur, farmer, bartender, beekeeper, friend, wife, mother, dog lover, cat tolerater, chicken hypnotizer, blogger, and sometime yogi
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13 Responses to I Need to Get This Off My Chest

  1. avwalters says:

    You do what is best for you. The farm will wait. We will wait. Your community is bigger than just the face to face people.

  2. Maya Sky says:

    All my love and support to you! I’ve come to this blog via Maggie, who’s always on my mind, just as much as before…Sometimes I think of her more intensely as well as feeling her actual presence, (tingling in the shoulders, hair standing in the back of my neck, the nape of my neck and having a lively dialogue even…). I’m sure she’s visiting you very often as well and watches over you! And I’m sure you’ll come on top, just don’t get too heavy a new rack!

  3. 2mikes says:

    best blog post title ever.

  4. Amy says:

    I hope all goes well. I’m heading towards my last… Hopefully… Surgery after being diagnosed with breast cancer in August 2015. I had a double m in January and am doing reconstruction now. You can do this!! It sounds like you have wonderful support. I live on a small horse farm in Arkansas and the farm and animals greatly aided me in recovery. They were wonderful medicine! God bless.

  5. Bill says:

    You are in my thoughts and prayers. I’ve often wondered how you are able to do all the things you do, and with such excellence. So I have no doubt you will come through this magnificently. Even as my heart rises up into my throat, I can’t help but smile at your wit, ever present it seems. If I could come over and lend a hand on your farm I would. But as that’s not possible, I’ll just keep sending good vibes your way, while looking forward to future updates. Peace.

  6. RedSunshine says:

    Keep that sense of humor!! Don’t let anyone tell you it’ll make it easier – just makes YOU easier to be around and want to help!! 😉 I’m so glad you have such a great support bra, er, system. Gravity be damned!! Go get ’em!

  7. sue sussman says:

    While you are on hiatus I see no reason you can’t enlist the aide of guest bloggers….especially people who know nothing about farming, animals, plants, bees, etc. It is a road less (read NEVER) taken…possibly with good reason although one never knows where the next great farming idea will come from. So feel free to enlist me and other of your faithful fans like me should you have an editorial space in need of misinformation and suspicious syntax. Your literary lackey, Sue

  8. ccm989 says:

    So sorry to hear about your trial with cancer but know that many, many women not only survive but THRIVE after cancer is vanquished. You have a lot of fighting spirit! You will come through this better and stronger and smarter than ever. Will also keep you in my prayers.

  9. suz says:

    i’m only a recent subscriber, but wishing you all the best. sounds as if you have a good herd around you to help. — suz in ohio

  10. Pat Levine says:

    I have loved your forthright blogs; nothing varnished, including, now, your health. Thank you for continuing to be yourself. As someone else said, the farm will wait. We will wait. I wish you all the best.

  11. Much love from Upstate NY. I’ve been a farmer for 50 plus years now….the farm will go on and on. Just YOU take time for YOU this summer.

  12. ccm989 says:

    Happy Thanksgiving! Hope you are recovering well!

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